Wall Letters
by FailingDemi
Summary: Dear Mr. Pencakes, I tried to die today. But I didn’t die. So I’ll try to die again tomorrow. And I shall succeed! :3 // Dear Hikaru, ARE YOU FUDGING CRAZY? -A Weird Oneshot- Hikarux?-Done for a SHINE challenge.


A/N: Haha. xD This is rather pointless and weird. I think I'm losing my touch on humor. Hikaru is OOC throughout this whole entire thing. :D And you will find out who this...Mr. Pencakes is. :P And ya know whut...I think it's already spoiled for thee. xD;;

Challenge done for Shine's Ten phrases, ten oneshots. Sorry, Lit, I can't support SIE with this. D:

Disclaimer: Dun own, unbeta'd. (Again beta'ing is a bit too long...)

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Standing in an alone, isolating room, the teenager stood at the door staring emptily at the cracked, dusty window that was clogged with so much grime that he couldn't even see the day clearly. It was a horrid place, filled with cobwebs and dust. Although the rest of his house was clean and modern, his stayed the same, old, dusty, rugged, and like a shack of the commoners.

This was his bedroom…

He limped towards a creaky cushion that was littered with a million of tiny holes. Without thinking, he plopped onto it, ejecting millions of dead bugs and ants out from the miniscule holes. It squeaked underneath his weight as he tossed around the hard springed mattress.

This was his bed…

He grabbed at his backpack that lay idly on his pillow. He drew out a long sigh and slowly pulled the zipper to the bag open before reaching in to pull out a pocket blade that was withdrawn in a sliding container.

This was his so called pen…

He dragged himself off the bed and sluggishly made his way to…the _only_ presentable side of his room that was plastered nicely with fine, floral wallpaper. He stared emotionlessly at it and cocked his head slightly at it.

Click, click—

The blade was out of its sliding shell and he held it as if he would do so to a pen.

This was his wall…

The blade was forcefully stabbed into the fine wall paper, and he started to drag the tip down, creating a rip in the wallpaper. He pulled it out and suddenly, abandoning his sluggish, slow ways, did artistic slashes at the characters, creating the words:

_Dear Mr. Pencakes, _

And _this_, my dear friends, his letter…

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_Dear Mr. Pencakes,_

_Good day, Mr. Pencakes. Hope you're doing well, wherever you are. I have something awesome and cool that I have to share with you. I decided to jump off a cliff today because today was another shitty day of a shitty month of a shitty year; God put a rock before the cliff, so I tripped on it and sprained my ankle. The downside of it all was that I couldn't jump at all. So I didn't get to jump off a cliff._

_D:_

_Pah…that sucks._

_I think that's what I get for kicking dust around the school…_

_I hope tomorrow bears better news of my attempts at suicide._

_-- Hikaru._

_PS: It's quite amazing how your response comes to fast and how the wall gets restored back to its non-ripped state…_

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_Dear Hikaru,_

…_is Mr. Pencakes my name now? _

_Okay. First of all. Fudge. Stoppit. _

_Why the hell are you trying to jump off a cliff?_

_O.o _

_Especially without any safety gear? If you ever want to jump, make sure you have a bungee cord strapped on so you can bounce back up with safety. And remember! Always have parental supervision when trying to jump off from tall and scary heights. It's not safe to attempt it alone!_

_Suicide is __**not**__ fun, stop trying to do it, fool._

_--Mr. Pencakes. _

_PS: …uhm…yeah…haha._

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_Dear Mr. Pencakes,_

_Hello again. It's me, Hikaru, the obnoxious boy who lives in a rundown shack. Great news!! I found this cool area in my school's gym to throw string up at. The ceiling is high and there are these beams that are just laid horizontally across the top, so I can throw string at it! I'm sooo excited, 'cus my life is in shreds and is currently stuck in cow shit. _

_Who said suicide is gonna be fun? Dying is __**not**__ fun, but trying to die is. :D I shall go the nearest store tomorrow and purchase string so I can hurry up and chuck it at the wooden beams!_

_--Hikaru._

_PS: How do your letters appear on my wall, anyways?_

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_Dear Hikaru,_

_Are you stupid? _

_Why in the world…would you go out of your way to just get some freaking string out from the store? It's just freaking __**string**__ for Pete's sake, why care?! Anyways…you're just being idiotic again. Stop with your weird thinking, because tossing strings up at some kind of 20 foot high ceiling beam is __**not**__ gonna work, and I don't see why you give a crap about something like…like a wooden stick. _

_Yeah, go and have fun…chucking strings at twenty-foot long sticks. O.o; Just come back…safe…?_

_--Mr. Pencakes._

_PS: …they just do. O.O_

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_Dear Mr. Pencakes,_

_I failed at throwing the string into the air. The ceiling was too high for me to reach and the string was too small and flimsy. I threw like…a lot of them and yeah…you should've seen it—a million of white long strings lying in a heap on the floor. I think I need something bigger…something…**thicker**. Hmm. I think I should go to the convenient store to get some rope…_

_Rope…_

_It should be easier to throw, yes?_

_--Hikaru._

_PS: Hah? :O That's just so weird…I mean your letters are written in the fresh, not ripped, unscratched wallpaper of my wall!_

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_Dear Hikaru, _

_Yeah, good. You finally noticed the impossibility of throwing string that probably weighs the same as a downy feather up at a twenty-foot high beam. Yeah, I figured much that you would fail._

_Wow, great going genius. YEAH. YOU GO AND GET THEM ROPES…for whatever you have to get them for. _

_Just don't hang yourself with them, because it's a really dumb way to die, if you ask me. _

_--Mr. Pencakes._

_PS: It's not weird. It's called unique-ness. I mean, it's not every day that you get a pen pal that writes you wall letters._

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_Dear Mr. Pencakes,_

_I tried to die today. But I didn't die. So I'll try to die again tomorrow. And I shall succeed!! :3_

_--Hikaru._

_PS: The rope broke while I was trying to experience rope burn. That sucks…doesn't it?_

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_Dear Hikaru,_

_ARE YOU FUDGING CRAZY?_

_--Mr. Pencakes._

_PS: I somewhat feel so relieved that you decided to experience rope burn before you hang yourself. -.-; _

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_Dear Mr. Pencakes,_

_You're right. I'm crazy. Someone told me that I was…today. I told them about you and kind of hoped that my classmates would think it was cool that someone was writing letters to me with a wall. _

_Screw the world. _

_They're all weird. They just don't know who the fudge you are! You are my wall buddy! And I hope it stays that way…_

_I tried to jump into a fifteen feet deep pool today. I forgot that I was wearing floaty stuff on my arms that I was forced to wear. I didn't drown…I just floated on the surface while trying to swim back ashore._

_I did wet everything though._

_Yup…_

_I tried._

_And failed today._

_I shall try tomorrow—!_

_--Hikaru._

_PS: :D Soon my attempts shall be rewarded!_

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_Dear Hikaru,_

…_yes…you're crazy. I'm your wall buddy! Yay! :D;;; _

_No._

_Drowning is a no-no! Don't do it, ever! It's a horrible feeling of just being lost under the waters. I'm so glad that you were forced to wear it, because if you weren't forced then…you'd probably drown…and that's a bad thing. _

_I wonder when you're gonna get tired of trying…_

_--Mr. Pencakes._

_PS: You're stupid. Who'd reward you for that? -.-;_

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_Dear Mr. Pencakes,_

_I like fire. I burned a whole lot of my papers and unused books today. It was very pretty seeing how the flames just swallow up the measly, writhing blackness of a shriveling book and paper. Very mesmerizing that I forgot that I was supposed to set the garbage can on fire. But I didn't forget! And that's the good part._

_Right after I sprinkled the remains of my books across the marble floors…the school stunk that day once I burnt everything in the garbage…_

_Or tried to anyways. Tried to burn…_

_I ended up spilling it everywhere, getting the flame caught elsewhere or blown away by the wind. _

_Ash sprinkle, garbage spilt, school stunk, and I…am fruitless. _

_--Hikaru._

_PS: …I dunno. I just think that it'll be awesome…_

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_Dear Hikaru,_

_You are so…weird. Not only do you aim to kill yourself by weird suicidal methods, I sense that you also plan to wreak havoc on the school by: 1) kicking dust, 2) littering school grouns with infinite amount of strings, 3) making property of the school wet, 4) sprinkle ash and garbage around the school. _

_How strange indeed…don't you think that something inside of you wants to return to making mischief? _

_--Mr. Pencakes._

_PS: Whatever._

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_Dear Mr. Pencakes,_

_OMIGOD. I saw revelation and realization in what you said. It's like...inspiration...o.o_

_Maybe I **don't** have to try to kill myself to get life out for the better! I can wreak havoc and bring about danger to the school! My god…maybe you're so right. I can see it now! Hitachiin Hikaru being one of the pranksters of the school!_

_Thanks!_

_Now I'm off to get spray paint, maple syrup, and glue!_

_--Hikaru._

_PS: I smile at you with a huge grin. :D_

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Scth—

The ripping sound continued as the re-taping of the wall continued. A teenager stood before it with a small smile on his face, the pocket blade retracted in his hands. He brushed a hand through is light-brown bangs and let out a sigh, while staring at the scratched words on the wall.

"…my god, Hikaru-sama must be very immature to be doing this…" one of the workers sighed as the group continued to apply the layer of wallpaper onto the wall. "Suicide? And all? I heard that his mother tried to stop him…"

The teenager chuckled under his breath. "That's just how Hikaru is."

"He did go crazy after that incident about...you know, I just never knew that it would affect him to this point of severity…"

"Nah, he's okay now."

The worker looked up at the smirking teen and raised an eyebrow. "He's been living in a room that hasn't been remodeled…he sleeps in a bug-infested place…he's delirious to the point where he doesn't even realize your existence and you think he is okay? Do you think he is worthy enough to carry the Hitachiin name?"

"Oh yeah," the teen said, while pocketing the small orange blade. "I know because someone named Mr. Pencakes changed him back to his normal self…"

A confused stare and a, "Who changed him?" rang out.

The boy sniggered as he placed a palm onto the ridges made by the letters…

"Yours truly, Hitachiin Kaoru."

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A/N: Pointless, stupid, weird. PencakeS? XD I SCOFF. Okay. That's weird. :P Ah wells. Just reveiw and get it over with! rawr. Also visit my profile to look at the forum SHINE. There are more details on my profile.

-Demi-kun.


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